Wednesday, April 19, 2006

a rush, a pause

things have been overwhelming ever since getting into wharton. the first was the realization that until now, all my plans had that one goal in sight, getting into school. well, getting into school, but eschewing traditional routes given the belief that if i leave the door open for God, He'd find a way to bring me where he wants me to go. i'd never have gotten here by myself.

overwhelming things currently facing:
putting deposit down on apartment in unfamiliar city- no money
putting deposit down on school of my dreams- no money
friend's bachelorette party, for which i'm a bridesmaid- no money
paying rent this month- late, and just enough money

after much waiting, i finally got columbia's reply today: reject. seeing how columbia has many shades of 'reject', i have gotten the most definite NO. for this, today i give praise. really, i do. i am constantly reminded that unlike others, who have worked hard to get to this stage, i have only followed the path set before me. it reminds me that it was never my work that got me to wharton, and confirms to me it is exactly where He wants me to be.

for a good long time i've struggled with a certain internal pride that demands recognition and praise for my accomplishments, even as the softer spirit inside whispers: the Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away. i am thankful, though a little embarassed, to have been rejected/ waitlisted by every other top school i applied to. i fear another acceptance would inflate my head, and these experiences are reminders to walk humbly with God.

in the same line, i am also comforted that as much as this confirms God's will for my future, i can rest assured that He will provide financially, as He ever has. the negotiator/ planner in me rationalizes that i MUST put down a deposit on that 6th floor studio, though i haven't the cash to back my deposit, and it's not really what i'm looking for, because what if i miss out? why am i picky? what if i don't get into the same place at the great location my new friends are at? and what makes me think that God will provide the best for me?

but i really do think that God will provide, and that his provisions are better than the fool's gold i grasp at in anxiety that i will be left behind. and such thinking makes me feel as if... i've finally gotten somewhere in my faith. not much- money has never really been on my radar of things to be concerned about. but it puts the planner part of my nature at peace. i must trust He will bring people i can care and rely on at school into my life. and i must will myself to make the most of the opportunities He's given, for there's much to be learned, and attending a top 3 school is a privilege i must not waste.

you may think that my assessment is right or wrong. but i think at the end of the day, He see's where our hearts are. if our hearts are in the right place, He will not fail- even if we misread His intentions. although i think by the time school rolls around, i must remember i'm now graduating to a different level of faith, one where intentions are measured simultaneously with actions and results. i hope the other two will flow from the first, i still think where your heart is, there your treasure is as well.

Sunday, April 09, 2006

Whiz Wit

In Philly right now, having just finished Wharton Welcome Weekend and crashing at my friend Robert's place. WW was totally exhausting. Starting from Thursday through Sunday, everyday's schedule started from 8AM until 2AM. One night went until 3:30AM but I gave up. When they say Wharton students work hard, party hard, they really ain't kidding.

More thoughts on Wharton later. Right now, I'm suffering from food coma from eating at Pat's Cheesesteaks and Geno's Cheesesteaks. Yes, both. I nibbled off of David, who along with Robert, both bought 2 cheesesteaks each from both of these famous philly restaurants. Standing diametrically opposed on opposite street corners in South Philly, local debates on which one is better has raged on for decades. Although a little touristy, we had to put the ancient rivalry to the test! And it was well worth it- i now have my own personal favorite.

Pat's- known as the 'originator', this is the place that yells at you if you don't order the right way. I had a mushroom-cheesesteak-whiz-wit: meaning it came with cheez whiz "wit" onions. Pat's seems to be the hardcore, a load of ribeye steak, crusty french bread. You eat the whole thing with little round italian hot peppers, the sourness sort of balances the heaviness of the sandwich.

Geno's- the upstart, branding themselves as 'the best'. softer bread, the cheeze whiz seemed like a different brand- it was a little saltier/tangier, less meat but more tender/thinly sliced. the whole thing was juicy.

Final Verdict

Although Pat's seemed more hardcore- oldschool neighborhood, it just seemed kinda bland to me. It's weird because the two really do taste different. Geno's was more pansy/ McDonald'sesque, but it did the job. It had more flavor, was easier to eat and much juicier. I have found a cheesesteak I can crave. I now have a favorite - Geno's cheesesteak, whiz wit.

Snakes & Doves

wanted to start new blog to cover my MBA journey. i've been admitted to Wharton and will be attending there in the fall.

here are the typical mba "stats"

- chinese american woman, will be 27 at matriculation
- 4.5 years work experience, 2 years in san franciscan politics, 2.5 years as entrepreneur
- work: business/entrepreneurial consulting, with expertise in launching social ventures

reading these blogs helped alot when i was applying for school, and hope it will help you too. as a very untraditional candidate, the application process was a bit of a nightmare, but everything worked out in the end.

most importantly, i wanted to hear the voice of God speaking through the mba world. altho i dislike the term because it connotates more political than spiritual emphasis, i consider myself a Christian. going to Wharton is the next stop on what's been an amazing journey of faithfulness (on God's part) and perseverance (sadly neglected on my part).

when i started my business, i built it around a single verse. when Jesus first sent his disciples away from him into 'the real world', he gave them this exhortation. i hope to continue in the same line at school ;)

Matthew 10:16
I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and innocent as doves.